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Remorkerski forum :: Pogledaj temu - A vicovi kaj drugo!
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A vicovi kaj drugo!
http://www.remorkeri.hr/forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=133
Stranica: 1/16.

Autor/ica:  malimis [ pet tra 30, 2004 2:17 pm ]
Naslov:  A vicovi kaj drugo!


Autor/ica:  bubaerdeljan [ pet tra 30, 2004 4:01 pm ]
Naslov: 

eh sad me mis sjetio jednog.. :lol:

Ubojica osudjen na dozivotnu robiju, nakon 20 godina zatvora, pobjegne. Dok je bio u bijegu, provali u kucu, i sveze mladi par sto je tada bas gledao obavijest na telki kako je nedavno pobjegao... Ubojica sveze tipa za stolac na jednom kraju sobe, i zenu za radijator na drugom kraju sobe. Pricao joj je, i ucinio nesto sto je nalikovalo kao da joj ljubi vrat. Zatim se naglo ustao, i otisao u kupaonicu. Koliko je mogao, suprug se primaknuo zeni i rekao joj:

"Draga, ovaj tip nije godinama vidio zene. Vidio sam kako te ljubio po vratu, i otrcao u kupaonicu. Samo suradjuj, i radi sto ti on kaze. Ako hoce spavati s tobom, prihvati to, i pravi se kao da ti odgovara. Sto god da radi, nemoj mu proturjeciti, ili ga naljutiti. Nasi zivoti ovise o tome! Budi jaka! Volim te!" Nakon sto je ispljunula krpu iz usta, polugola mu zena odvrati:

"Dragi! Tako mi je lakse sto mislis tako! Imas pravo; nije vidio zenu godinama... ali on mi nije ljubio vrat... sapnuo mi je u uho kako misli da si jako sladak, i pitao da li imamo vazelina u kupaonici. Budi jak! I ja tebe volim!"

Autor/ica:  Idiot [ pet tra 30, 2004 8:02 pm ]
Naslov: 


Autor/ica:  Jelena_B. [ ned svi 02, 2004 9:24 pm ]
Naslov: 


Autor/ica:  bubaerdeljan [ uto svi 11, 2004 2:15 pm ]
Naslov: 

kad smo tu vec pomenuli nase tice junacke krvi, a i s obzirom da nemaju svoj topic (a vidit cemo kako se snalazite s njima, pa ga mozda i dobiju.. :wink: ) eto da vas pitam:
jel znate kako je crnogorac posto lijen?
----reko bosanac :sjedi, da ti nesto objasnim!!

Autor/ica:  Bilbo [ čet svi 13, 2004 11:50 pm ]
Naslov: 

Ulazi covjek u trgovinu i unutra situacija: prodavacica place, ispricava se svim silama, a covjek stoji pored pulta i vice:
- "U zivotu necu krociti ovamo. Ima da se zalim gazdi ima da letis sa posla jesi li me cula...", i izleti van.
Ovaj koji je upravo usao pridje djevojci, a ova
cim ga primjeti pocne brisati suze i uz usiljen osmjeh kaze:
- "Izvolite..."
Covjek je pita jel treba pomoc ili sta, a ona sa osmjehom odgovara:
- "Neka hvala sve je u redu izvolite..."
- "Mogu li dobiti jednu kovertu?"
- "Svakako koja velicina imamo standardne, vece, manje..."
- "Obicnu molim vas."
- "A koju boju imamo plave, zute, crvene, bijele, zelene, narandzaste..."
- "Molim vas dajte plavu ali brze posto autobus samo sto nije krenuo, zakasnicu..."
- "A koju plavu, imamo parisko plave, blijedo, tamno, morsko plavu..."
- "Molim te obicnu plavu ali brze..."
- "A koji oblik, imamo u obliku srca, trokuta, kruga..."
- "Molim vas obicnu cetverokutnui kovertu ali brze autobus vec krece..."
Donese plavu kovertu i kaze:
- "A da vam ne treba mozda markica?"
- "Treba, daj jednu," i gleda autobus kako odlazi...
- "A za unutarnji ili vanjski promet?"
- "Unutarnji molim vas."
- "A koju cete: imamo sa likom ljudi, zivotinje, razne prirodne ljepote, znakove..."
- "Molim vas - brze - dajte zivotinju."
- "A koju cete, imamo: sisare, ptice, gmizavce..."
- "Molim vas ptice..."
- "Imamo grabljivice, selice, letace..."
- "Molim vas - grabljivicu - ali brzo!!!"
- "A imamo orla, sokola, lesinara, ..."
- "Molim vas orla..."
- "A imamo surog, americkog..."
- "Molim vas surog orla..."
- "A imamo ga kako hrani mlade, kako leti, kako sjedi u gnijezdu..."
- "Dajte kako leti molim vas...."
- "A imam kako leti iznad kanjona, iznad mora, ..."
- "Dajte bilo koji sto prije..."
U tome trenutku ulazi unutra covek sa pocetka ovog vica i nosi - govno u ruci! Prilazi pultu, pogleda prodavacicu i baci govno na pult i kaze:
- "EVO PICKA TI MATERINA, ZA OVAKVO GOVNO MI TREBA WC PAPIRA!"

Autor/ica:  bubaerdeljan [ čet svi 13, 2004 11:57 pm ]
Naslov: 

:hehehe: :lol:
mnogo volem ovaj vic, al jezik odpadne kad ga pricas.. :wink:

Autor/ica:  Bilbo [ pet svi 14, 2004 12:02 am ]
Naslov: 


Autor/ica:  malimis [ pet svi 14, 2004 3:37 pm ]
Naslov: 


Autor/ica:  malimis [ pon svi 17, 2004 2:16 pm ]
Naslov: 


Autor/ica:  malimis [ pet svi 21, 2004 9:11 am ]
Naslov:  BEMTI ZENE VOZACE

:-D
Jutros vozim na posao i sto vidim?!

U traci pored mene zena vozi novcati Focus,

pici preko 80 s nosom u retrovizoru - sminka si oci.

Vratim  pogled na cestu, al' vraga - zena napola presla
  u moju traku i ne prestaje se sminkati.

Covjece, prepao sam se:  ispadne mi baterijski brijac i
 padne na burek koji  mi bio na drugom sjedalu i sve skupa na pod.

Pokusam koljenima ispraviti volan al' ispustim mobitel 
 koji padne pravo u kavu koja mi je bila medu nogama.

Sfurim si i jaja i kobasicu, mobitel krepa i jos 
  izgubim vazan razgovor.

Bemti zene vozace...

Autor/ica:  Bilbo [ sri svi 26, 2004 12:47 am ]
Naslov: 


Autor/ica:  Idiot [ pet lip 04, 2004 9:43 pm ]
Naslov: 


Autor/ica:  malimis [ uto lip 29, 2004 10:55 am ]
Naslov: 

Usual working day:

Wake up,
Nokia, Colgate, Nescafe, Hochland, Orbit.
Renault, Compaq, Epson, Nokia, Nokia, Nokia.
McDonalds, Coca-Cola, Orbit.
Compaq, Epson, Nokia, Nokia, Nokia. Renault.
Tuborg.
Tuborg.
Tuborg-Tuborg-Tuborg-Tuborg.
Nokia... Nokia.
Durex.
Colgate.
Day is over
:-D

Autor/ica:  Bilbo [ čet srp 01, 2004 6:22 pm ]
Naslov: 


Autor/ica:  MrIncognito [ pet srp 02, 2004 10:02 am ]
Naslov: 


Autor/ica:  Bilbo [ pon srp 05, 2004 11:48 pm ]
Naslov: 

Kaj je to suho na dnu mora,laje i leti? Pas pticar u podmornici!

Autor/ica:  Idiot [ sri srp 07, 2004 8:36 am ]
Naslov: 

Sta Bilbo, imas remake imagea? Avatar se nešto promijenio :-D

Autor/ica:  denny [ sri srp 07, 2004 9:20 am ]
Naslov: 


Autor/ica:  Bilbo [ sri srp 07, 2004 10:18 am ]
Naslov: 

Ma to je original,ono je bila kopija.Neuspjela.

Autor/ica:  malimis [ pet srp 09, 2004 11:30 am ]
Naslov: 


Autor/ica:  Idiot [ pet srp 09, 2004 1:28 pm ]
Naslov: 


Autor/ica:  Bilbo [ pet srp 16, 2004 11:09 pm ]
Naslov: 


Autor/ica:  bubaerdeljan [ čet srp 22, 2004 1:33 pm ]
Naslov: 

vozi se biker gradom, kad odjednom - TUP! pogleda sta je, a ono mu se vrapcic zabio u prsa i pao na cestu. sidje on s motora, vidi da vrapcic jos malo trza krilcem, pa ga pokupi i odnese u svoj stan.. stavi ga tu u neku staru krletku, ostavi mu nesto mrvica kruha i vode i ode na posao..
nakon par sati budi se vrapcic, gledao oko sebe, vidi kruh, vodu, resetke.. i rece : u kurac, biker nije prezivio!

Autor/ica:  malimis [ čet srp 22, 2004 2:16 pm ]
Naslov: 

Kak' Mujo ubija krticu?
Živu je zakopa u zemlju :-D

Stranica: 1/16. Vremenska zona: UTC + 01:00 [LJV]
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